All the times this year Florida put the ‘F’ in WTF

Some pretty crazy things happen in 49 of America’s 50 states. Then there’s Florida.

Florida is a category unto itself.

It’s so crazy that there are Twitter accounts dedicated to the antics of the zany men and women of the Sunshine State.

Here are some of the best, most WTF stories to come out of Florida in 2017.

 

Fake doc gets prison for deadly butt injections
Oneal Ron Morris appears in court for a bond hearing in 2015.AP

The so-called “Toxic Tush” doctor pleaded guilty to manslaughter after injecting Super Glue and Fix-a-Flat tire sealant in several women’s behinds.

Murder suspect who used ‘big penis defense’ found not guilty
Richard PattersonBroward County Sheriff’s Office

At one point during Richard Patterson’s trial, the 65-year-old claimed that he accidentally killed his girlfriend, 60-year-old Francisca Marquinez, while she was performing oral sex. To back up his claim, Patterson’s lawyers wanted to enter his penis into evidence and show it to the jury.

News chopper spots alligator eating body of plane crash victim
/iStockphoto

The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission estimates there are 1.3 million alligators in the state. So it’s only natural that one would be caught chomping on human flesh.

Woman films herself giving oral sex in courthouse

A Florida woman was sitting in an empty hallway about to be arraigned on drug-related charges. Then her “damn tongue got me in trouble again lol.” Brittney Jones was arrested a month later.

This is what crime does to your face

Robert Hardister

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

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December 29, 2017

Floridian Robert Hardister has been arrested many times over the past eight years. He has the increasingly tatted-up mugshots to prove it.

Couple busted during Four Loko-fueled sex on beach
Alexandria June Rowell and Jeffrey Joseph KernanPinellas County Sheriff’s Office

Sun, sand, suds — what could be more romantic? One couple clearly thought energy drinks and public nudity were the way to turn things up to 11.

Wife arrested for punching husband after he interrupted her ‘pleasuring herself’
Flavia and Garrett Higgs

Apparently, she really didn’t want a helping hand.

‘Police impersonator’ messes with the exact wrong guy
Marcos Pacheco-BustamanteAP

As a rule of thumb, it’s not a good idea to run into the person you’re impersonating. Especially if you’re impersonating a cop.

Teen allegedly raped neighbor, offered ‘yard work’ to make up for it
Timothy Adam WaldingPalm Beach County Police

“You really should deadbolt your door because I didn’t really want to do this, but I had to do it,” Timothy Adam Walding allegedly told his neighbor. He also asked her if “he could make this up to her by doing some yard work or by fixing something around her house.”

Teacher smoked weed, drank with student to set mood before sex

Valerie Michelle Valvo apparently thought she needed to do a little more than wine and dine her student.

Couple busted for having public sex — in front of cops
Merri-Anne Bromley and David WheelerPinella County Jail

“The intercourse continued in the presence of law enforcement,” St. Petersburg police officer John Reeves said.

Naked Instagram model unleashes ‘towel whip and mule kick’ on cops

A post shared by Brissa Dominguez Garcia 💕 (@baybaddiebrie) on May 5, 2016 at 8:13pm PDT

Brissa Dominguez went for a very early morning stroll through a Florida hotel. The only problem was, she wasn’t wearing any clothes and wasn’t a guest at the hotel.

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