The year’s dumbest criminals

We all know that crime doesn’t pay. However, sometimes it costs more than a suspect’s freedom. Sometimes, it costs their shame, embarrassment and humiliation.

Here are some of 2017’s dumbest criminals:

1. Guilt was written all over his face

Robert Hardister

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

Palm Beach County Sheriff’s Office

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December 28, 2017

Floridian Robert Hardister has been arrested many, many times. And he has the ever-changing mugshots to prove it. Starting with one of his earliest portraits from 2009 when he was a fresh-faced youth, the wear and tear of criminal life is literally etched into Hardister’s skin as the repeat offender collected more and more face tattoos and piercings.

2. He thought he could hide his loot ‘down there’
Pattreon StokesMarion County Sheriff’s Office

During a traffic stop for speeding, cops found drugs and a large wad of cash in the suspect’s car. Mysteriously, the money seemingly disappeared by the time Pattreon Stokes, 26, reached jail. Briefly confused, police realized what had happened when $20 bills started falling out of Stokes’ rectum.

3. Hide-and-seek doesn’t always get the job done
Jan Sivak did not do a great job hiding from police.SWNS; Facebook

Every child learns how to make themselves scarce by playing hide-and-seek. Jan Sivak, 30, apparently did not learn well enough because he might have picked the worst hiding spot ever when trying to evade a court date on a burglary rap.

4. Armed robber got away, his resume did not
Umar Mirza robbed a gambling parlor with a note that read, “I got a gun, open the door or I’ll shoot you.”SWNS

Umar Mirza must have thought he got away with the perfect crime. Having been rejected for a job at a legal gambling parlor in England, the 26-year-old returned to the parlor, held the place up with a fake gun and got away with $22,016. However, as he walked out the door, Mirza removed his mask and CCTV cameras got a clear look at his face. From there, police had no problem tracking him down because the betting parlor still had his resume on file.

5. Movies are not real life
iStockphoto

In 1996’s “Mission: Impossible,” Ethan Hunt (played by Tom Cruise) makes his way through the air vents at the CIA to hack an impregnable computer. Would-be burglar Jorge Romero tried to pull off the same trick at the Winners Bar in Elmhurst, Queens. The only problem was that Romero got stuck in the vent and had to be rescued by firefighters, who promptly passed him off to waiting police.

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